Hi Ken, Dave and I just found out Mary passed away. We are so very sorry, she was always wonderful to us. It was always fun to chat with her when visiting. We hope you are doing well. Sincerely, Cathy and Dave

It has been said that you may forget what people say but will always remember how they made you feel. I shall always remember Mary's knowing smile, gentle manner and encouragement. She will remain indelible in the hearts and minds of those she touched.

I am so grateful for having known Mary. I have long been inspired by her many creative contributions and scholarship which have helped me to appreciate the potential of all we can accomplish together in uniquely, innovative ways. I also so appreciated her playful humour, and direct honesty and candor which for me, and I also imagine for others, pointed to new possibilities for going forward.

Shortly after learning of, and saddened by Mary's passing, I came across "Late Fragment" the final poem in Raymond Carver’s (1938-1988) last published work, "A New Path to the Waterfall", which he wrote while he was dying of cancer.

This poem - gripping, honest, and beautiful like Mary - led me to reflect on how I believe Mary was not only beloved on the earth, but also loved, and was beloved by, the world. ... and so may we all be.

As I share this, I hold everyone who knew Mary, in particular her family, in mind and heart.

“Late Fragment” by Raymond Carver

And did you get what

you wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself

beloved on the earth.

"A New Path to the Waterfall", 1989.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc1wVNX7wms

This is a meditation that I composed and led on September 26 at my university's museum of art, in honor of Mary (as well as others who have passed away this year). It was entitled: Grief, community, emotions and shared meaning: Finding ourselves in the spirits of others

Jerry Gale

I am deeply saddened by the death of my dear friend Mary Gergen. I loved her wit, wry humor, insights, sparkle, smile, beauty and general luminosity----it was always wonderful indeed to be in her company, and I regret not having seen or spoken to her or Ken for a number of years.

She is now in my morning prayers as I think of her each day.

Goodbye lovely Mary.

Harvey Shipley Miller

Luisa Acrich Gutmann Buenos Aires Argentina She was generous and shared all her knowledge. It was great enjoying her classes. I will always remember her, as a professor and as a great woman. She has left an indelible mark.

We have had the pleasure of having Mary and Ken Gergen as clients for over 2 decades. We have enjoyed both Ken and Mary's personality, wit and wisdom. The ability to work with Ken and Mary has been a privilege for all of us. We will miss Mary and are sorry for her loss personally, for the Gergen and Gebhart families as well as for society as a whole. Mary's contributions and support of social causes will stand the test of time along with our memories of Mary, her smile and her intellect. God Bless the family, loved ones, family and social causes for the loss of this great woman. Sincerely, Irv Rosenzweig and all of us here at RZ Wealth

The world is a duller place without Mary Gergen in it. She was extraordinarily bright, gentle, generous, and reflective. I spent many evenings with her, Ken and my husband and whenever she spoke, we stopped to listen. She was one of the last all time great hostesses--engaging, inquisitive and a she was a spectacular chef. Her beauty and grace were transcendent. My heart breaks for Ken and her children. I am a better person for knowing her.

This is a great loss for the Idle Hour Community ........I never got the chance to really know Mary but I always admired her spirit and personality .......She was a very personable member of IHTC ......always had a smile....................so my condolences to her family and friends

Mary was a remarkable and wonderful woman. She possessed an enormous amount of strength which was delicately entwined with great sensitivity and compassion for every being.

God bless you, Mary.

My mother was always the most fun, the prettiest Mom, the "cool" Mom - you could talk to her about anything (even things that are often "off limits" between a parent and child). She would offer great advice, friendship to anyone that needed it; sometimes she would do that, even if you didn't ask for it. It's not often that a Mother and Daughter are actually best friends. She took us on travels far and wide, gave us experiences that one could only imagine or dream of and gave us culture, empathy and an understanding of the world. She could be strict at times, but as I got older, realized that it was for our own good. She let us know that we were loved and that she was proud of the people we became. She was known for her parties, her Thanksgiving meal, Christmas holiday's and, I say this with all the love in the world, her kind of bad Birthday cakes....it wasn't that they tasted bad....they just either fell apart, or the frosting was hard or the lettering didn't work out or ants were on it....it was always made with love and we all wanted her cakes....She made delicious Sunday meals, that we all attended, at least once a Month up until February, when, Cancer entered her life for the Fourth time.....I was lucky to be with her until the end.....her last words ever spoken, a few days before her death, were, "I love you, too." The whole family got to celebrate her life with her two days prior to her death- with champagne, food, drink, song and some memories and stories....she looked at each one of us, as we spoke and she grinned at times and teared up...she heard us all and felt the love in the room. Thank you to everyone that reached out, sent flowers, made phone calls....amazing! There is a missing piece to our puzzle, but she left us knowing how much we all loved her...

Lisa Gebhart Bell-Scintilla (most loved daughter, ever) :)